If I were one of those bloggers who had more than 4 family members following I may be able to make some surprise announcement that I am getting married but since you all already know we can just skip that whole part.
And yes, being the Beth that I am, I had my venue (and several other details) decided on before even the one week mark of being engaged. That's just how I am; full throttle or nothin'! Also, being financially, well lets just say not rich, planning early means I have more time to pay for it all. And yes, most of you have actually been drug to said venue, The Victorian Rose, but for the 2 of you that have not, here is my version of a panoramic shot which is actually not panoramic at all.
This is where the DJ goes...
Real bathroom located in the outbuilding complete with changing table...
Buffet central/Dance the night away (until curfew at 10:00)...
Hedge O' Cake...this is where the cake table generally goes and the tables kind of go all around this middle area...
And more open space where more tables go...
And of course the gazebo/ceremony seating area...
And more chairs, lucky for you this part is in the shade although a tent for the very open and sunny table areas is highly likely so that nobody dies from heat exhaustion or melting. Although if that does happen not only can David help resuscitate you, but as you can see in the background below there is a fire department conveniently located directly across the street. :)
And that is the walkway to the front of the house from the street which is where I come out of the house out to the gazebo. Anyway, yes it is basically someone's yard, except nobody actually lives here so it's not so weird.
Also, it's exactly what we wanted. Affordable (very important), run by a very nice woman and her family, it is outside and cozy and has the right atmosphere. Laid back and fun, perfect for a summer BBQ and celebration with only our closest family and friends. Nothing fancy and nothing formal, it fits us perfectly.
You may be wondering, if you even read it, what this title is supposed to mean. When you are with the same person for over 9 years this is the reaction that you get most often and usually comes from the same people that used to ask when you were going to get married (which is pretty much everyone). This is not a bad thing, it just is. This is a longish story but one that for some reason I need to get out even if only just for myself.
Nine years one month and 5 days ago David and I officially started 'going out'. I say it like that because we were still in high school and when you are in high school you ask someone to be your boyfriend/girlfriend and then you are going out a.k.a. dating in real world terms. They say a lot about young love: that it will never last, that it will keep you from growing as an individual, that it is nieve and foolish and hotheaded and a million other things generally negative to varying degrees. For some this is all true and for even less these things are the opposite of true.
Then there is us. These things were all true for us.
Our love, off and on through the years, was at times doomed for failure, holding us in haitus, foolish, hotheaded, jealous, juvenile, immature and at times simply incompatible with the happiness we were seeking. Then something happened.
It has been almost exactly two years since we grew up. We didn't know it at the time but we both made a commitment to grow and change simultaneously yet independently which is the reason we are where we are today. In June of 2011 we decided that David would quit his job at the casino and go to school while I put school on the shelf to financially support both of us. It was this decision that changed our path and I am thankful every day that we did.
I was forced to be helpless. There was no amount of pushing I could have done to make David succeed in school, I had to learn to support in a way that I had not known before. To simply be there and trust another person without having any control over the situation. And for David, not having me there to push, he learned how to push himself and that he was capable of doing what he wanted and needed to do. I learned that I cannot and don't actually like controlling everything and David learned that if he just did what needed to be done then I didn't get in the way much.
I learned how to budget...I mean serious budgeting. Like I have $40 till next payday so that means I get to spend $20 this week on perishables and $20 next week on perishables. David also learned that numbers are my job and something that I am really good at so leaving it all to me was what I needed to feel good. We learned that the saying 'money can't buy happiness' is actually true, mostly because when you are truly happy you simply don't need as many material things to create the illusion of happiness; it is simply already there. We learned to work together as a team and how to truly unite in a goal. We learned to really appreciate one another every day for all the small things. We helped each other every day. I would help by planning, because like I said, that's just what I am good at. He would help by just doing more to help out whenever he had time and most importantly making sure I knew every day how much he appreciated everything I was doing and that one day he would be able to do the same for me.
We had to kick a million bad habits we had formed over the years and form new positive ones. We had to learn to be a little less stubborn. We had to learn that most things really are just not worth bickering about. We had to learn to let the other person have space if that is what they need and when they are ready to come back and talk they will. We had to learn that you cannot discuss anything with a clear head if it is in the middle of the night or someone is intoxicated to any degree. We had to learn that you cannot force anything on another person regardless of how true your intentions. We had to learn that to truly be in love with another person you have to let go of them and let them be with you. We had to learn that unconditional support is life's best motivator. We had to learn that others' lives, accomplishments, milestones and opinions were not a ruler to measure our own against nor a bar that was set for us to try and beat. We had to learn to grow up and we had to learn to not be afraid of the change that may bring. We had to learn how to be happy.
So when someones reaction to our engagement is 'It's about time!', I smile. I smile inside because I think of how far we have come to finally make it to this step in our lives when the time is right for us. I smile because we were actually able to make it here and that wasn't always a sure thing. I think to myself that if we would have experienced these last two years in the beginning that we would have already been married, but for us we had a journey to make and I wouldn't take it back. Then I say 'I know. We are very excited.'
It is truly something that I cannot explain. It is like trying to describe a dream to another person; something they will never know or cannot see because they were not there. They can only try to understand by putting together the bits and pieces that you provide. And that is the culmination of my 26 years of life so far. Regardless of your relationship with or knowledge of another person this holds true:
You can never truly understand another persons situation in life because you can only assume what it is like to be in their shoes.
