The Cat and the Fiddle...or was it a Pickle?

So it's official, my cat really is crazy. I awoke to a ruckus in the middle of the night (this is the way almost all cat stories start I believe), only to realize that my cat was up to something. This happens often so I paid it no attention. That is until today. I could not find the top to my coffee mug this morning in the dish jenga, and although this perplexed me since I remembered washing it, I just grabbed another cup and went on my way. Then it happened. I was minding my own business tending to some laundry when I happened upon what looked to be a coffee cup lid. But alas, why would my coffee cup lid be squished between the washer and dryer with missing socks and dust bunnies? Then it dawns on me...this is the doing of my cat, I just know it. I know this because she has an obsession with many strange items along with the predictable hair or twisty tie. She has been known to steal your straw right out of your cup then making a mad dash for some hiding spot where she can enjoy her spoils. She also really likes stuffed animals, even if they are larger than her entire body. I have seen her running down the hall (actually more like hobbling since the stuffed animal is usually between her legs and dragging out her back legs) with a certain favorite stuffed animal of hers more times than I can count. I cannot help that Bella was raised in the scary trailer park across the street from Piggs Liquor and was covered in dirt and reeked of cigarettes when I rescued her at the tender age of five weeks old. Her first day home in our little apartment consisted of a bath (we all know how much cats love this) and several taming sessions since she was more than a little wild. I will never forget when David first came home and I told him I had gotten a kitten and it was in the bathroom settling in. He went into the bathroom and was more than a little surprised to find a fully fluffed attack kitten waiting on the other side of the bathroom door. I believe the first time he actually tried to pet her, she hissed at him and ran and hid in her kitty hideaway. You can see it in her crazy eyes, can't you. This is one of her favorites, his name is Bernard. She may be crazy, but she is pretty sweet sometimes too. At least with me and David. You will probably never have the pleasure of meating this elusive wild animal, but she never misses a snuggling session that involves a blanket, hot chocolate, and a little reading or crocheting. She really does look evil in this picture though. She probably felt violated since I made her lay on my bed and pose with Bernard for the sake of my blog.

Can you imagine if our dogs behaved the way our cats do? Man, that would be a disaster. Having an eighty pound unruly cat running around is what happens in the zoo, not in homes. I could not imagine what it would be like if Riley climbed on my stomache in the middle of night and proceeded to dig his claws into my flesh. He does this enough to my feet, and I can only imagine the pain it would cause in my soft unprotected abdomen. What if your dog jumped on the coffee table and stole the straw right out of your drink before running away frantically down the hall? Or what if your dog decided to hang from your sheer living room curtains like an olympic gymnast? Oh, this one is the best: What if your dog decided to tear ass down your hallway, sideways, burning out on your hardwood floors for no apparent reason at ungodly times of the night such as 2 o'clock in the morning? This seems to be a universally known time for cats to run spasmodically around your house breaking things and running into walls like the devil is chasing them. And why is it that if you get up to see what the hell is happening in your house in the middle of the night the cat is always inexplicably scared shitless and therefore must jump two feet straight in the air before tearing off to some dark closet somewhere.

I have so many funny Bella stories, if only I had the dedication and time to record them all in some sort of Crazy Cat Memoir. Maybe one day.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot to tell you all about my other discovery today. I was doing the dishes this afternoon when I came across a most unusual discovery in my sink. A pickle. That's right, a pickle. Not a pickle slice, or pickle tail, an entirely whole pickle. I have to say that I have found some strange things in the sink before, but this by far tops the list. This matter is still under investigation. I have a few leads, and some very promising suspects.

I think this is all I have in me for the night, big day ahead tomorrow.